i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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