I want to stick my p in your. b.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
