do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
