dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
