Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You're a waste of cheezeits
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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