I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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