he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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