My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
