real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
