there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
