she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
