Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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