how can u be prego again
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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