He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
