I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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