I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
