on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You're a waste of cheezeits
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
