So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Life is so much better after having sex.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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