is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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