I molested 6 butterflies tonight
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
