WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
