Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
