I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
