those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
well you can't waste a boner
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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