her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
