What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
