Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
two words...techno handjob
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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