I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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