Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
