Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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