OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
