a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
