Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
