Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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