I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
