It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
