Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
