My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Houston, we have a blender
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
