nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
