omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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