Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
