There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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