I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
