I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
