The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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