Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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