yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
