you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
