what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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