even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Too much gin, very little bucket
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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